The Return of the Prodigal Son!

After a while of not showing up on these streets, a peep from the corners of the walls protecting this boulevard was so scary, I didn’t want to show face, in my mind I was a stranger to the language used here, but after a zillion times of running around like a headless chicken, I lost direction like a prodigal son, and my heart was beating for home.

One wise man once said East or west home is best. So please have a seat, and we share this meal while we can, after all, sharing is caring.

2019 was such a roller coaster ride just like the previous years, but the uniqueness of the 2019 journey was in the newness of the brakes, tires, and seats. But all in all, it was a ride worth jumping on.

Before I start ranting my lessons or even stories that the most excellent teacher called experience tattooed on my heart, allow me to pay tribute to my Friend Faith, who departed for heaven before we reached the finishing line of this Master’s degree ride.

Faith, just like her name, was so faithful in her ways. She was a reliable, humble, and caring Friend. She randomly showed up on my door with dishes filled with food. Faith lived an intentional life that didn’t leave room for the bandwagon effect, laughed when she wanted, put self in spaces that only her heart yearned.

I am certain wherever she is, her spirit is rejoicing, having lived a life that served the energy of her soul.

My last encounter with Faith’s words of wisdom was on the cold Friday evening before her sudden passing on Sunday, as we threw our feet towards reaching for our rooms from fellowship; she whined out her plea how friendship has lost meaning, she unfolded her voice using an example of people giving wedding contributions in the name of attracting attention but not drawing from the heart, she desired nothing but realness and intimacy.
I am a realness advocate, but Faith’s life challenged me, Her life has driven me to places of intimate and real conversations with my family and friends. Also, being more intentional about my actions and treasure my secret place with the highest power to stay connected to my spirit.

Thank you, Faith, for passing here! Thank you for sharing the ten months and 21 days of your life with me. I have forever tattooed your legacy on the walls of my heart.
For days I find myself falling into the pit of self-seeking I remember your quote, “Small acts of humility daily can slowly change the world.” And within a minute or few, I am put back on the path of spreading nothing but kindness.

Just as Faith lived, Let us choose today to enjoy the rest of 2020, with intentional kindness and living a life that serves the energy of our souls since we have no guarantee for tomorrow.

Big heart.❤

Clap For Yourself!

I stayed up till 4 am preparing for a presentation, which was scheduled to happen that morning. I was so satisfied that I am to rock the stage and turn heads once I got hold of the microphone. When the former presenter left the floor, I walked to the front with my head held high in my high gut pants not allowing my feet to touch the floor with pride of spitting fire for both class usage and life after class😂😂😂.
It was a nerve-racking and knee-shaking moment when I got hold of the microphone. I started my presentation ranting the words I memorized even the 5 minutes on my plate were not enough for me.

When my 5 minutes elapsed, I had not wrapped up assuring the audience with my vast researched knowledge about the topic.
After ten good minutes, I dropped the microphone, as soon as I walked down the stage, the Professor reminded us of how he was to consider time management while grading.

When that reminder settled in, I chose to dine with the personal blame game. I expected to hear positive remarks from friends informing me how my presentation was so life-changing even if it was so long😂😂😂.

To my surprise, most of my friends reminded me of how I spent more time than the assigned time. I got a few approvals, but i needed more to fill my golden box of victory, having spent plenty of time bracing up for the moment.

As the day went by, I pondered about the self-disappointment thoughts that were bombarding my mind, and the few approvals received added salt to the wound.
I didn’t acknowledge the fact that none of my friends was with me the whole time I injected in my effort. But guess what, I was so present from the moment I started developing the assignment until when I dropped the microphone. I was the right person to clap and thank myself for the effort put in, and even if things didn’t go as I planned, I tried, and lessons were picked.

Many times we go through life looking for someone to validate us, and if people don’t, it hurts us.
We need to stop feeling entitled to other people’s validation of us; people don’t owe us applause for all the good things we do only us know how hard we are working at something and the amount of time and energy we put in.

We shouldn’t expect people who have no idea how much we have put in to clap for us.

Let us clap for ourselves.

Taking Stock June.

I have been trying to write a taking Stock Post for a while, but I’d always chicken out and shelve it in drafts. Finally, I have decided to slap fear in the face by getting on the bus of sharing monthly random hearty evolvements.

Let’s dive together into my June Journey:

Buying: More food, availability of food makes me happy even before I deposit it into my mouth.

Drinking: Water, tea, and lots of positive energy.

Enjoying: Aloud laugh that lives my heart full and my body oozing Joy.

Feeling: loved by this lovely Ugandan Man. quip! Quip! I mean God since He lives in me why not give him a Ugandan seat.

Following: Flavia K Tumusiime. I like her humor, the lessons, and the ingenuity of her videos.

What’s your favorite blog or YouTube Channel? I’d love to check it out.

Learning: How to continually hold self in my true identity while adding value to the people around me.

Looking: For perfect moments from this flawed world.

Listening: To myself, every time I am handed a golden box of communication.

One way to be an excellent communicator, pay attention to what you utter out.

Making: Quality time for my loved ones. And making time to improve on my craft(s).

Missing: My Ugandan family and friends.

Noticing: How our energy introduces us before we say a word, so I am learning to freshen up my soul every morning before I wear that bomb outfit. Ha, haha.

Wearing: My love glasses, I desire to spread nothing but love.

Playing: No cards with dishonesty.

Reading:15-invaluable laws-of-growth by John-c-Maxwell.

Watching: A lot of Lisa Nichols inspiring videos. Her life story gears me up.

Wasting: No time walking in condemnation of self and my people.

Working: On how to be me, live a life free from pretense.

Thank you for reading. I hope you get inspired to be you after getting to know my June quirky side a little better.

Bask into the beauty of July.

What Are You Expecting?

When I got a scholarship to travel for my Master’s degree, I received tips of advice from different people on how to cope, some were good, and a bunch was a bum steer as most people share lessons according to their experiences. I was told to prepare for loneliness, culture shock, and many other things that come along with living in a foreign country.
One last Sunday in Uganda, as I moved out of the church, one fine lady walked towards me and gave me a piece of competent counsel that still oozes into my blood. She said, Vivian! “I did my masters from overseas but what I know for sure life abroad will handle you the meal you are expecting to have, and nothing will come your way unless you see it coming.” “Many people will advise you, but at the end of the day, what do you expect?
As I was seated in the taxi on my way home, I kept on pondering about that piece of wisdom amidst all the advice that I had kept in my basket of being open to learning. I decided to take a step and act on what God had spoken through that lady. I wrote down the things I expect to come my way while on this South Korean journey and among them was a good church, good friends, and happiness.

I can stand here to testify that I have encountered and still meeting good friends who have believed in me, rebuked me when I am losing it, fed me, played with me, captured beautiful moments with me, helped me understand challenging assignments, prayed with me and facilitated my adventure while here.

My church family reminds me a lot about my church in Uganda, OMG!! Our leaders are so heavenly; we get to share a meal every after service on Sunday, Every Friday after fellowship we walk away with a pack of food, now you might be wondering whether its food that draws me there. Trust me, to a certain percentage, you’re right! Ha, haha. But jokes aside I love the fellowship with my people and the oneness amongst the congregation.

Loneliness! Loneliness! I sometimes find it hard to explain to my people that I have never felt lonely; they reach out worried that I might be buried in a sea of loneliness with no one to listen to me. Nevertheless, A big thank you to each one of you that reaches out; it means a lot. Thank you! 😍😍

It came to my notice that I now enjoy my own company, thinking out loud about my life, listening to good music, taking cold water, Watching YouTube talk shows, lengthy phone calls, burying self into good reads and writing my mind out leaves my heart with no gap of loneliness but flowing with sugar spice and everything beautiful.

I can’t say I have it all, but I am enjoying each moment in South Korea, my heart is full not because I deserve it but because I put my expectations to the one who brought me here and stopped trusting in my strength or even conforming to the standards of the space I am operating in.

Mathew 8:13 Then Jesus said to the centurion Go your way and as you have believed, so let it be done for you, And His servant was healed that same hour.

What are you expecting God to do for you today?

Our Dreams Are Not About Us!

In 2017, I yearned for a space of growth and separation from the environment I was operating. This drove me to a dream of achieving my Postgraduate Degree abroad, but for a good chunk of time, I was sipping on the unbelief cocktail since my college results were so deplorable having scored 2.88 out of 5. I decided to settle for less as per my dream and resorted to applying for studies at Makerere, a University in Uganda. Among the requirements of getting enrolled in the University for the Master’s degree, I fancied at that time was sitting for an entrance exam. I gave this test my best shot, but to my great surprise, I didn’t make it to the entry door as my results were below the required pass mark.

Oprah Winfrey States, “Everything that has happened or will happen to us whether good or bad is in alignment with our purpose on earth and is for a better reason.” God had better and bigger plans for me. I pulled myself together and started applying for scholarships to fund my study abroad, even when I knew my results were not appealing to the universities I wanted. It was a gentle blow when the first two Scholarships I applied for did not take me up.
I was on my way to giving up hope when God reminded me of how He is not a son of man to lie, and whatever He promised to do, He shall fulfill in due time. You know, most times we believe when things only make sense to us. Nevertheless, God had better timing, and I kid you not, it is always the perfect one.
I decided to give it another shot when a friend who is pursuing a Ph.D. in China jokingly sent me a scholarship link to apply as we wait for the intended scholarships to open. Since this was a try and error moment, I did not give it my best like I always did, we (with a friend who occasionally helped me out) applied and submitted at the last hour unlike before. We didn’t take this so serious as I didn’t pay the 100 dollars application fees, and when I was emailed I genuinely told the administrator, I didn’t have the money.

In most cases, when God plants a dream in our hearts, we tend to look at our abilities instead of looking at Him. What I now know for sure, When God created us, He wired every system in us to achieve whatever He created us for, at the perfect time and it is still Him to come through for us even when our reality doesn’t make sense to us. There is more to our dreams than just achieving them, and When we trust Him He breaks all the boundaries, I was able to get a scholarship even when I had the most unsatisfactory results amidst the school prioritizing academic excellence. I didn’t have the money at the moment to pay for my application fee, but still, it was up to God to get me admitted because my time to travel had reached regardless of the barriers.

Whatever dream we have, let us hold onto God; it’s not about our capabilities.

Moses was called to speak for His people even when He was the worst orator according to him.

There is no dream that is too hard for God to achieve, and it is never about us.

Let us keep keeping on and deter settling for less.

Dancing to My Beat.

It was a gripping moment after the school food festival when the DJ dropped one of my favorite jams,Feel this moment by Pitbull ft Christina Aguilera. The dose of this jam dropped into my ears and sent signals to my spirit that tapped my bones into motion. I started shouting as I drew my shaking bones to the center of the room. Colleagues turned around to have a glance at this frenetic girl who had turned the calm.

I sang wrong lyrics at the top of my voice as I shook my bones. Now for those that have been graced with the chance to see me shake this booty can testify that we are all God’s work in progress and some like me are still on the trajectory of the Promised Land.

During that Viv moment, I felt the presence of God while dancing, He was cheering me on.

“That’s my girl, you can do this, we are in this together, let’s make this moment count.”

He whispered to my heart. I chanted louder and louder as I shook the fluid out of my bones.

As I danced, I kept on pondering about my life. How I sometimes allow to get swallowed in the sea of insecurities, so afraid of being me, and afraid of people’s rejection if I dared to follow my bit and didn’t rhyme with the song the world is singing. I always hid my lamp under the bed and left the stage for other people to shine since I was so afraid to present my version of the song God deposits in me to the world.

That there was a minute of victory, a minute of listening to my heart and being unafraid of what other people thought of me, even when I sang the wrong lyrics. And a moment of drawing my actions from the wells of my spirit.

Lisa Nichols, one of the transformational couches I know, once said, “give notice and stop asking for permission, when you hear something that resonates with you say yes yes. When you hear your truth say yes yes, when something feels good to your soul say yes yes.Even when you neighbor isn’t saying it say yes yes and be the lone ranger that calls out Gods assignment in you by conviction.

Steve Jobs, while addressing the 2005 Stanford commencement, stated, “Remembering that I will be dead soon is the most important tool I have ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything, all external expectations, pride or fear of embarrassment of failure. These things all just fall way in the face of death within only what is truly important. Remembering that Iam going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking I have something to loose, Iam already naked, there is no reason not to follow my heart”.

Let’s be intentional about drawing our actions from the wells of our inner man.

And when you get the choice to sit out or dance, I hope you dance~~Lee Ann Womack

Be Still,The Lord Will Fight For You.

One night thieves broke into my house and stole a TV, laptop, my phone and a lump sum of money. It was a nerve racking and knee shaking moment when I woke up to that calamity. I ran knocking on my neighbors’ houses like a mad woman amidst the heavy rain. When some showed up we ran to a nearby police station for rescue but at that point there was nothing to save since the thieves had disappeared.
To my great surprise, some of my dear neighbors started questioning the robbery and their conclusions went that I either robbed myself or invited one of my friends to rob me. Some rubbed their false accusations in my face and others secretly talked about it with friends who later unwittingly confessed it. I found myself many times imagining calling for assaultive meetings. Was this going to help? Maybe or maybe not.
As I lay in bed tearing in the wee hours of the night, the Lord told me to hold my peace and let Him fight for me. At that point it didn’t make sense, I was bitter and racking considering I had a lot of false accusations running around me that same season but God’s word was so loud and clear. HOLD YOUR PEACE I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU!!!
When the Lord says I will fight for you to some of us we assume He is going to physically oppress our oppressors or even shame them in our eyes. Lol! .At that point that’s what I needed to hear “at least let them also be robbed Lord so that they can experience the pain I am going through”. But God’s plan was greater and in line with my purpose on earth without hurting anyone.
I was so afraid of people’s rejection. I couldn’t stand a person falsely accusing me. I was so happy knowing that my name is shining in the eyes of man. People’s approval about my identity was a great treasure. During that time I encountered moments when I had to walk with my head held high even when I knew my next neighbor didn’t believe in me. I knew that even if no one believed in me, what I thought about self was key. I came out of that shadow with victory and Joy. And even when the devil falsely accuses me now, I am aware that He who that is in me is greater than He who that is in the whole world.

Whatever happens to us is for the good and in line with who God has called us to be. There is not one single thing that has ever happened or will happen to us that will be wasted. Every single crisis,challenge and every joyful moment will show up to make us who we are meant to be.

No one is against us but God wants to use those dark moments to let the light in us shine. Whatever trial you’re facing right now, the Lord will fight for you, please hold your peace .Understand what is taking place and press into the flow.

We have got to have an aggressive spirit that defies shame and does not allow the complacency of those around us embarrass our fortitude.

Wrapped Up In Love.

I moved in with a very good friend of mine in 2017. This girl was so many good things; a very good cook with a great sense of humour to mention but a few. We enjoyed our time together and the long conversations after work were to die for.
But like the saying goes, no one is perfect. This beautiful girl wasn’t perfect and neither was I. Our relationship was not always sugar, spice and everything nice, just like any other relationship, but, trust me, it was one of a kind.
When it was time for me to move house, I moved out carrying a heavy heart from the little mistakes and everything that didn’t go well as expected from her. IMAGINE!
At that the moment of farewell, I was all smiles but deep down I knew the moment I stepped out of the house, I was only going to check on her by a phone call or text. I didn’t want to be in her space again..’I thought’
This is the girl who welcomed me in her home and did everything in her power to make me smile every night I came back home. It was so unfair of me to stick to the sour salt of one meal after having been served a zillion delicious meals in her home. I forgot the oceans she crossed and mountains she climbed just to hold my hand.

In very many relationships, be it with friends or family, we rarely consider our people being as human as we are, Somehow, things don’t always go well with them and we tend to make things personal and hold onto their mistakes.

Most times when we do not forgive the little thing, we keep ourselves in prison. We hold ourselves captive to past mistakes and as a result we allow shame to come in and accuse us, to the point where we align our identity with some mistakes that we have made in the past and for reasons that make no sense we don’t forgive.
Unforgiveness is not an option. It’s toxic. It’s dangerous and leads to a place of disconnect with our Father. I thought that by not reaching out to my friend I was protecting myself but instead I ended up bitter.
God reminds us of His love and calls us into loving others, the way He loves us. No matter the amount of sin. The Bible says, as far as the East is from the West so I have removed your sins from you. Just imagine if He was a keeper of grudges!
So, moving forward, let’s reconsider, examine our relationships and make sure they are free of revenge and anxiety and evidence of ongoing disconnect.
It’s time for us to mature into a company of powerful people who know how to walk in freedom, practice intimacy and vulnerability , and invite people around us to become powerful and free love.

Stand Up For What You Believe.

We all want to be great people in our different spheres of life. We have advocated for ways on how to make this greatness reign. Occasionally, we find ourselves wondering if God has only called a chosen few on this journey of greatness.
The good news is, God deposited greatness in each and every one of us. He wired systems in us to achieve this greatness. Among the systems, He instilled values in us.
Our values are a part of who we are, what we stand for and how we act. They are chosen by our soul to guide us through life. Every one of us can make a difference if we choose to stand up for our values.

I have been through relationships with very good people. In some of these relationships I had different values with my partner but because I was always so afraid of standing up for my values, I hindered clarity in my relationships and ended up settling for less than what I deserved.

The thing we forget most times is, we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. I wasn’t wrestling against the innocent people I dated, I wrestled with the spirit against my greatness.
Every time we sweep our values under a rag, we choose to partner with the devil in certain areas of our life. I wasted myself and the people I was relating with just because I wasn’t bold enough to stand up for my values. And when I did, the relationships I was afraid to lose, I lost in the short run. This paved way for greatness for both parties.
The greatest people in the world are the few brave who choose to stand for their values, not the ones who are more creative or with more wisdom.
Choosing to stand for your values is like acknowledging the voice God has instilled in our soul.We have to know that there is something greater than ourselves that we are a part of.
We need to create this life with the ultimate creator. We cannot thrive by only our wisdom and creativity.

We have to understand that our very presence on earth comes from something greater than us. It comes from someone who knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb and instilled Godly values in each one of us.

Let us be in alignment with our values and make our world and the world around us a better place.

Whatever value God has instilled in you. Stand up for it.

A short Walk to Freedom.

I have contributed to most of my colleagues’ weddings and I have written long messages on their birthdays. One would think this was something I did out of love, but no, this was from a tank of expectation. I expected them to always reciprocate when I needed the same or more services.

I opened very many doors for people in my life hoping they would fill my cup with sugar, spice and everything nice just because I was filling theirs.

I went out of my way to do things for people and there after bury my joy, expect something in return. I deprived myself of peace and ended up being bitter with people who were also just trying to fight their own battles.

One day I over heard a friend narrating how they were so disappointed in their church leaders for not contributing towards their wedding.
“We have spent a lot of our time serving them but can you imagine on our wedding they didn’t stand with us financially?” this person told another friend.
I kept wondering whether these people where serving God or their leaders. But this is a story for another day.
Multiple times we forget these same leaders have a lot going on in their lives.

We need to stop manipulating the outcome because it’s always a nightmare expecting salvation from people..

On my journey of cutting expectations, I have found myself so happy and genuinely loving people while expecting nothing in return. I laugh at people’s jokes genuinely and give genuinely.
I do things knowing that I don’t owe anyone and no one owes me. This has helped me to stop holding people hostage in my life and I have freed my self from acts of pretence and bitterness.

Your Church leaders didn’t contribute to your wedding but still God made it flourish .Why not focus on Him.

Let us let go of the need for some one to fill us and stick to the one that does fill us, God.

Should I write this blog expecting approval from the readers, it would be a nightmare because I would always be in a strain trying to micro manage the results.

The knowledge coming from God’s call for this cause has helped me be intentional and at peace with my blogs.

Let us break free from the prison of expectations and only put our trust in God.

Let us open doors and pave way for people to walk through the way they wish.